5 Indispensable Success Tips

The true meaning of success seems hidden from many people. Hours are spent; squandered on activities that ultimately are anti climatic. This is a source of unfulfilled lives charactrised by hopelessness and sudden changes in lifestyle when people have the sense that they have wasted years pursuing the wrong thing. Here are a few tips that might help you avoid ending up in this state.

1. Figure out the goal of the game.

It's pointless to play any game without first understanding what the goal is. God created you and I with a goal in mind. That goal is a relationship. Before anything else, we are to pursue a relationship with God through His Son Jesus. Solomon the wise king figured it out and proclaimed, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."

2. Figure out your unique purpose

Mark Twain said it best when he said, "The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why." As long as you live in someone else's mould of life, you will never be satisfied. Find your unique role, your purpose and your adventure will be unleashed.

3. Measure yourself by your own growth

Comparing yourself with other people will rob you of the greatness of your own life. Because you are unique and have a unique assignment, it only makes sense to compare that assignment by its previous state. Make goals and pursue them with everything you have. Very few things come close to the fulfilment of goals.

4. Live in the present

There's really only one place we ought to live; the present. If you choose to lament over your long gone "heydays" you will miss the good things happening now. You can't be a teenager forever. You need to embrace the changes that come with growing up. Enjoy your children, your job, your spouse and all that comes with the present life you have. If you sacrifice every ounce of joy in the present and pile it all in the future, you may never get to enjoy anything. Life is now. Be balanced. Recall the past with gratitude and plan ahead in wisdom but remember to live.

5. Take responsibility

Your choices today are shaping your future. You will reap what you sow. The same holds true for the past. Your choices in the past have shaped your current reality. It's up to you. Don't give someone or something else the locus of control over your life. When you take responsibility, you have the ability to change course any time you feel things need adjusting. When you abdicate your responsibility over your own life, you deny yourself the freedom to choose what you want.

Have a great week.

Tinei

5 Reasons Why You Need To Forgive

I've often heard people vehemently affirming that they will never forgive someone for this thing or the other. They think they will punish that person and imagine that whoever inflicted pain on them will live in perpetual regret. The truth is that choosing not to forgive often does more harm to the one not forgiving than the one not forgiven. Here are five reasons why you need to forgive.

1. Forgiving allows you to heal

While you may feel stabbing pain every time you remember what the person did to you, that pain can begin to heal after you make the choice to forgive and let go. You will not forget, but you will soon be able to talk about it without getting super emotional.

2. Forgiving allows you to be positive

When you don't forgive you can soon become a very negative person. People will find you less appealing to talk to. You become a bitter person and anything that reminds you of that incident or person you haven't let go of will quickly pull the "bitter you" switch. Most people avoid bitter people.

3. You become a strong likely agent of pain to others.

Bottled up negativity has the tendency to spring out on innocent victims. Hurt people hurt people. People who forgive quickly are good finders. They don't hold on to the negative. Those who don't forgive ignore everything good the other person ever did. They only focus on the negative, the last thing, the wrong thing. You become a source of pain on others because you only focus on the wrong things they do.

4. Forgiving others enables you to receive forgiveness from others

When you are so hard on others, you expect everyone else to be like that, even God. You will struggle to believe the word of God that says you are justified in Christ and in him all your sins are forgiven. Because of this, you will live a condemned life and fail to access the gift of what Jesus accomplished for us at the cross and in his resurrection.

5. Forgiveness restores relationships

While some relationships cannot be restored, many can. Forgiveness provides the platform upon which a new beginning can be built. It's better to be at peace with all people than to have grudges all over the place. Grudges make you paranoid, suspecting everyone of having a hidden agenda against you. Choose peace!

Enjoy your week.

Tinei

5 Steps to Help You Deal with Depression

Depression is more common than most people realise. It's such a complicated state that this post won't give an outright solution. My hope is that it will give a starting point to the healing process. Here are a few thoughts if you have been feeling low for a long time.

1. Change your focus

We gravitate to the direction of our focus. What you focus on grows. For as long as you are focused on your misfortunes you will never notice the sunny days. Count your blessings regularly, and create a gratitude list. Focusing on the positives will help you move towards happier days. If someone hurt you, forgive and move on. That doesn't mean they were right or that you're not hurting. It gives you the freedom to move on.

2. Change your self talk

Your confession to yourself dictates how you feel. Our emotions are a result of our thoughts. Speak positive statements to yourself. Write down positive affirmations on your phone or somewhere where you can readily access them. With time you will memorise those statements and they will become your default thinking. This will go a long way changing your attitude. Remember, attitude is everything!

3. Change your posture

NLP postulates that our emotions affect our posture and vice versa. Make a conscious effort to chin up, chest out and never slouch. You will soon realise that you feel better and breathe differently this way. Put on a smile and find things that make you laugh. Laughter is indeed the good medicine.

4. Talk to someone

Fighting your demons alone makes them seem much stronger than they really are. Talking to a trusted friend, counsellor or psychologist can often help you see things differently. Never walk alone.

5. Pray

Talking it out with God and reading the Bible is invaluable. When your focus is shifted towards the goodness of God, all His benefits and His grace, the small things often fall away.

All the best!

Tinei Shamu

5 Ways to Deal with Stress

Stress is a major contributor to other diseases. Many people today have not lived stress free lives in years and have no idea how to come out of their tormented state to a more peaceful state. Here are a few thoughts that can help you get rid of stress.

Define the impotant things in your life

One of the main contributors to stress are ignored important items. When you put off important things consistently, one day they will be urgent items requiring immediate attention and sometimes under unpleasant circumstances. When you define what is important, you have the opportunity to plan ways to take care of those things.

Learn to ask progressive questions

When going through difficult times, it pays off to ask the right questions. Asking questions that do not provide helpful answers will only perpetuate your stress. If for example you are having difficulty relating with someone and you ask yourself, "Why do they want to see me suffer?" Chances are that you will not come up with the right answer to help you move forward. Rather ask yourself, "How can I improve communication between the two of us in order to improve our relationship."

Exercise

Exercise improves emotional state. If you find that you're constantly feeling stressed and tired, exercise will help. Take a walk round the block. It doesn't have to be a heavy duty work out. Start small and you will see the benefits.

Share

A problem shared is a problem half solved. Find someone you can talk to who is mature and wise. Someone who can give good counsel. Be careful of people who encourage you in things that you know are unhealthy like drowning your sorrows in alcohol and drugs. That's not a good friend.

Pray

Philippians 4:6-9 MSG

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

Five Ways to Keep Your Resolutions Alive

The beginning of the year is characterized by various efforts to make lifestyle changes in line with better health, emotional status, business achievements and many other goals. As the end of January approaches, many will have fallen off the wagon already and either returned to their old ways or simply given up because “it is too hard”. Here are some thoughts to help you go for the long haul:

It is brave and commendable to move away from something unhealthy

Realising that you have some unhealthy habits or relationships is in fact the first step towards success. Most people remain in denial and nurse their toxic habits and relationship to their detriment. Having the courage to call it what it is and choosing to move away from it deserves praise. I have been in unhealthy relationships and my observation is that it is easier to rationalise and come up with all forms of excuses than it is to admit that the status quo is not working for my good. We all make mistakes and can learn a lot from them as long as we are not denying th

em.

 Stumbling only becomes a problem when you stop rising

If anyone ever told you it is easy to get rid of an old habit, they lied. Habits are sometimes called second nature. We are so used to doing things a certain way that it is automatic in many instances. We have learnt to cope with life in certain ways. Some people have been a part of our lives for so long even our sense of identity is tied to them. Remember this; the best way to get rid of a habit is to replace it with another. But even then, it takes a while to get used to new habits. Consistency is the secret. Do not be hard on yourself. Remain determined, set small goals that you can achieve daily and before you know it, you will have replaced the old undesirable habits. If you are walking away from a toxic relationship, remind yourself why you left every time you start having thoughts to return. Separation syndrome works an illusion that only recalls the good things about someone. Remember, you left them for the ugly things.

You are responsible for your life

There is always the temptation to blame someone or something for failing to make your desired changes stick. Be a champion and refuse to play the blame game! If one strategy is not working, find another. Read around your area of struggle and find how other people have managed to make it work. There is nothing new under the sun; at least as far as our lifestyle issues are concerned. Someone somewhere has faced the same challenge and found a way out. There is more than enough resource in you to slay your giant. You only need the right strategy.

 Fear of the unknown is paralyzing

Two thoughts afflict the minds of people leaving toxic relationships.

“How can I leave a relationship that has lasted so long?”

“How do I know if I will find someone better next time?”

This is your life, right now! It is not a rehearsal for the real thing. When your clock ticks end, that’s it! You deserve to be happy and you do not have to settle for second best or even fifth best. There is a life that consists of pure joy and peace. Do not squander your days in negative, unfulfilling, harmful and even degrading relationships. Second chances are for those that take a chance. This world is full of positive people. You only need a positive attitude to find them!

 Pray

Prayer gives you access to what the will of God is for your life. His will is for you to prosper in all things. His will is for you to rejoice always and to live a life of thanksgiving. He desires that you succeed. With God, all things are possible. Success is yours!