6 Character Check Points

If I could sum up what the predictor of a person's true worth in life is, I would say it's their character. It is evidenced by one's actions, but it's not really the actions that matter. It's the reasons why one does the things they do. Here are a few character check thoughts to ponder.

1. Do you treat yourself as though you're more special than others?

[Pro 1:19] MKJV1962 - So [are] the ways of everyone who gains unjust gain; it takes away its owners' life.

I'm always amazed in the mornings by drivers who cut queues and inevitably cause congestion by simply being unruly, selfish and self serving. It's almost everywhere where there is a queue in Zimbabwe. Someone always feels they are more important than everybody else and should get served first. This demonstrated that person's character. They are flawed in that they see everyone else as insignificant. This can happen in many different variations, but the thinking is the same.

2. Do you treat others as guilty suspects until proven otherwise?

People who think everyone else is up to no good live a difficult life. They miss out on the good in other people because they are always looking for the loop hole. Even if you tell them they are looking good, their interpretation and focus is that you mean every other day they look filthy! They always find the negative interpretation to everything others do or say.

3. Do you judge others only by their actions and yourself only by your intentions?

[Pro 11:1] MKJV1962 - False balances [are] hateful to the LORD; but a just weight [is] His delight.

This is a typical pattern, and most are guilty of this. We treat others as though their intentions don't matter. As the phrase goes, "Good intentions never earn." Unless they are ours. We need to balance the scales and use the same standard we use for ourselves on others.
4. Do you treat people with more money than you differently from those with less?

[2Co 5:16] MKJV1962 - So as we now know no one according to flesh, but even if we have known Christ according to flesh, yet now we no longer know Him so.

People who have an unhealthy view of money have this trait. They equate the value of the human to his monetary net worth. They forget that all people have the same maker, and he (the maker) is delighted with all his creation. Respect of people should never be on the basis of their money. We respect all our elders as such, all our brothers and sisters as such.

[Pro 22:2] MKJV1962 - The rich and poor meet together; the LORD [is] the maker of them all.

5. Do you think you have the right to eat, drink or watch whatever you like?

We are in fact stewards of our bodies. In this dispensation, we have the duty to ensure that we don't kill off our bodies by consuming substances that we know will choke the life out of us. We have a mandate to impact other people's lives, to impart our experiences to the next generation, to mentor and groom our children into responsible God fearing citizens. What we allow through the eye gate changes who we are. It may not seem so, but if you watch your speech and thought patterns you will realise that what you watch and listen to has an effect on you.

[1Co 6:19-20/MKJV1962] - Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit in you, whom you have of God? And you are not your own, for you are bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.

6. Do you only pray when something is wrong?

This habit reduces God to an ATM machine that you only go to when you need something. God desires a relationship. If we find friends who only call when they need something unbearable, then it can't be right to have such a relationship with our Father.

7. Do you act like you know everything?

Know it alls equate themselves with the omniscient God. They think they can reason everything and cannot learn anything else from anyone. This is a serious delusion! Humble yourself. No one knows everything. You can learn a lot more from others.

In summary, the way to check you character is summed up in the words of Jesus, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." - Mat 22:37-39.

7 Ways To Improve Your Decision Quality

We are all products of the decisions we have made in our lives. Our choices create the paths of our life journeys, leading us to destinies that we are either proud of or appalled by. There are a multitude of other factors that affect who and what we become, but the quality of our decisions lays the foundation upon which we can construct our future. Here are 7 ways to ensure that you make quality decisions.

1. Check your emotional state

High emotions are inversely related to quality decision making. Logic is diametrically opposed to clear thought. When you are raging in any extreme emotion, that is not the right time to make decisions with long term effects. That of course makes it hard to decide when to make decisions like who to marry, because such decisions are to a large extent determined by how you feel. Nevertheless, even such decisions require a sobre mind and as much of an unbiased critical evaluation before announcing the decision.

Note: Never let the pressure of a glamorous proposal push you into making a decision that will change the rest of your life when you really aren't ready to take that step.

2. Engage forethought

The late great Steve Covey said it best when he said, "Begin with the end in mind." People who are clear about their desired outcome have less trouble making quality decisions, because they know exactly what is relevant for the future they are building, and what isn't. Forethought enables you to assess the impact of each alternative decision in the safety of your mind. You explore the "what if's" in the healthy and objective context of course.

3. Expand your horizon

The limits to anyone's imagination are imposed by the width of his horizons. These horizons are the product of exposure. Travel and reading are excellent ways to expose your mind to what is possible beyond your country or even local town. Biographies of great decision makers such as celebrated leaders can enrich your mind in so many ways.

4. Relax

Great decision making requires an active mind. In order to keep your mind active, you need to save up your decision energy for things that matter. Identify quickly things that you can't change and those you need to delegate to other people. It's not a great idea to make big decisions when you are tense or tired. It's much better to do that while on vacation or anywhere where you are relaxed.

5. Believe in yourself

Nothing is a decision crippler like lack of confidence in yourself. We have this internal validation mechanism that affects our decisions in order to prove our secret beliefs about what we can and can't do. Virgil said it best when he said, "They can because they think they can." It's those who think they are able to do certain things that actually succeed at it. Those believing otherwise will sabotage their own efforts and prove to themselves what they knew would happen, fail.

6. Define your vision

Your vision for your life is the compas that defines who you are and what you value. Without a clear vision, you will always be swayed because you have too many options. Vision puts your life into perspective. It defines your purpose. It clarfies your goals. It motivates you. Without a vision, nothing meaningful can be built.

7. Look to God

Prayer is indispensable. It allows God to speak peace into your storms. His word formulates the framework of your aspirations. His wisdom enables you to do far more than you can ever imagine. A relationship with Him gives you access into the benefits reserved for those engrafted into the true vine, Jesus.

Reason of Being

The search for meaning has baffled many minds over the years. Philosophers have written volumes upon volumes on purpose. Why are we here? Only simpletons coast through life without battling with this question.

Could we be a meer progression of a species with the base purpose of being a link in an ecosystem? Could we possibly be at the same level as cats and dogs as some animal activists purport? Are our lives merely a physical existence terminated at the end of our lease on earth?

Religion has tried to offer explanations, but has been reduced to ritualism and a set of rules no one lives by. Many fall short of the requirements and soon give up trying. The ones that remain put on facades; masks that portray them in a different light from who they truly are. Others identify the hypocrisy and decide not to be a part of it.

Thank God for GRACE. That God-man called Jesus entered the constrained dimension of time with the much needed intervention. He turned upside down the vain attempts of religion at getting to the Creator. He stripped bare the desperate state of mankind. He demonstrated what the purpose of life is, and how it can be attained - In him, with him and through him - the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

The purpose is to connect with the Creator - God. The only way is through Jesus. Personal methods outside him will not work. Being a nice person will not work. Being good is insufficient. Altruism won't work. Self justification won't do it. Only accepting his Lordship will work. Then he will give you a new nature. One that is capable of connecting with God.

Once the connection is made, you may enjoy the side effects. Righteousness, peace and joy. Fulfilment, purpose and belonging. Love, hope and faith. All that not by exertion of personal virtue. Only by complete reliance on GRACE. Only by relationship, not religion. That is Christianity - a relationship. His GRACE qualifies and enables. Nothing else in the entire world can do this. It is an excellent idea to pay attention to this good news. It's even better to share it! GRACE!

Arise Zimbabwe

Times sure have changed. I always used to wonder why elders called them "the good old days". Now I know. I remember when we used to leave milk bottles by the gate with coins or tokens, and the milk man would collect and leave a bottle of fresh milk. Newspaper vendors would leave heaps of money by the corner while going about their business without the fear of someone running off with their earnings.

Not today. Integrity has become a rare commodity. Unfashionable. Undesirable. Unattractive. People would rather deal with those who understand the kickback system. No lubrication, no deal. Yet this is the rust that has torn through the fabric of our nation.

A man's imagination is limited to the horizon of his exposure. A whole generation has been raised in this environment. All they know is how to get ahead by paying the right people. No business ethic. No effort to compete on excellence. They have become calloused by the vicissitudes they have faced in an empoverished country with an economy spiraling into a bottomless abyss. No other place would be a better example of the nature of poverty - a mindset.

This state of the nation cries out for integrity. Evil prevails when good men do nothing. Instead of speculating what could work, we ought rather to be getting our hands dirty, putting our hands to the plough. Intelligence is measured by results, not certificates on the wall. Wisdom begins by bowing the knee to the one true God, not a puffed out chest.

GOD with US. TOGETHER as ONE. UNITED WE stand. If we will put aside selfish interest, we will prosper. That "what's in it for me?" attitude has to stop. How shameful it is when one is prepared to block the prosperity of a family, company, city, or country for self gain. Patriotism is not allegiance to a political party. It's commitment to a nation. May the words we recited as boy scouts reverberate in our hearts. "I PROMISE THAT I'LL DO MY BEST TO DO MY DUTY TO GOD. TO SERVE MY COUNTRY AND OTHER PEOPLE AND TO KEEP THE SCOUTS' LAW."

4 Ways to Avoid Burnout

I recall a time when chronic fatigue was my daily state. It was as though I was just coasting through life, with a load imposed on me that no one could help me bear. I was burnt out. At the office and at church. There was no place to rest. Here are a few things I learnt in my transition from this place:

1. Learn to say NO

It's better to refuse to take on any more extra load than to accept every suggested thing and crumble under the pressure. Some things seem important, and they are. But you can't do everything important. Someone somewhere is able to do it with less strain. Saying NO doesn't make you a bad guy. Failing to deliver though may lead some people to see you as unreliable and inefficient.

2. Concentrate on the things that only you can do.

Delegate what your subordinates can do just as well as you, or better. When you focus on those things that only you can do you make better use of time, and you have less to do. You commit more time to meditate on those key tasks that you produce better results there.

3. Focus on serving in the area of your gifting.

When you serve in areas where you are not gifted, you struggle to produce results and you may soon start to feel burnt out. Serving in the area of your calling, gifting and passion makes each opportunity to serve an exciting adventure. You look forward to it. It's like a hobby.

4. Remember to serve as unto the Lord.

When you feel used in the church and that bothers you, you probably need to reevaluate your reasons for serving. The whole point of serving is to be used of God. If that is not what you want, STOP! You're in the wrong place.

I hope this helps in some way.
Have a great week.
Tinei

Short Fuses and Blown Gaskets - 4 Steps to Anger Management

Are you one of those people with a short fuse? Do you get angry quickly and easily and maybe at times wonder how you blew off that gasket? Maybe you know someone like that. I know some people who even brag about it. Some struggle with it. They don't know how to master that anger that's always boiling under a weak gasket.

There are many reasons why people may end up this way. Of all of them, there is one very common trigger. If you examine your life for this trigger you may have just found the solution to your problem. Finding the issue is one thing, dealing with it is another.

The number one reason people have anger issues is a blocked major goal. When your path to something very important to you is unfairly blocked, you can easily become an angry person. Whether the blockage came by a truly unfair mechanism is subjective. It's all a matter of perception; your perception.

Here's how to deal with it:

1. Identity your blocked goal.

This could range from reversible things like a business, or education to irreversible things like having your father around when he couldn't be because he passed on or left you and your mum. Identifying it is an important first step.

2. Identify who blocked it and forgive them.

Whether this was a corrupt official, a misinformed parent, a deceased parent or any other person, you need to forgive them. Sometimes telling the person works, but in many instances this may not be practical or possible. In that case you can write them a letter and explain how they blocked your goal and how you feel about it. You can then tell them in that letter that you forgive them and then burn the letter. Tell yourself that as the letter burns, you are letting go of the anger you felt towards them.

3. Think whether there is no other way to achieve that goal.

Sometimes our vision is obscured by negative emotions. Giving things a deep thought after letting go of negative emotions can give fresh insight. You may find a good alternative, sometimes not because of the nature of the goal. Nevertheless, it's easier to close that chapter at this stage and move on anger free than before.

4. Pray

Asking God to help you deal with potentially aggravating circumstances in the future helps you deal with things you couldn't in times past. Be honest with God in your prayers. Let him know how you feel and ask for help. You'll be amazed how things work out.

I wish you all the best.

Tinei

Money or the Box?

Money makes the world go round - so it's been said. The level of collective attention towards wealth creation is astounding, yet only about 3% of people control 97% of the money in the world. The love of money, as the Bible says, is the root of evil. Wars are being fought as I write this over control of oil reserves and diamond fields. Money to many represents security. So why would God want us to give of our money?

1. God wants to be your source.

In reality, God is the source of our income. Businesses and bosses are only channels by which the money gets to us. God wants us to realise and acknowledge him as our source so that he can give us more.

2. You're not ready for something if you can't give it away.

This is true for more than just money. If you clutch on to anything other than Christ with dear life and fear losing it, you're not ready for it. When you have the confidence that you deserve it and you can get it again should you give it away, then you have gained the mastery over it. You trust that God who provided the first time will provide again as long as you are operating within the boundaries of his will; in love and by faith.

3. God wants you to be a blessing

God’s method of meeting the needs of people is through other people. When you participate in the cycle of giving, you are participating in God's blessing agenda and you become a recipient of more because you are an effective channel.

4. God wants you to experience true joy

The highest level of joy is in meeting the deep needs of other people. You may enjoy buying a new car or house, but the joy of having alleviated the pain of someone else, doing something totally life changing for them is indescribable. When you are significant to someone and they absolutely cannot and will not pay you back and you know it from the onset, you experience the true meaning of giving. God wants you to experience that.

5. God wants you to be like him

God is a giver. He loved the world and GAVE his only son to die for us that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. Every good and perfect gift comes from him. He wants you to be like that, to share in the grace of giving.

Try it out and see if you will not be fulfilled. It is completely refreshing and liberating. This is what's in the box. I'd say go for the box!

Have a great week.

5 Things You Need To Know About Your Thoughts

Most of us by now have come across the saying, "You become what you think about." If you haven't, I encourage you to take interest in personal growth material. You may be asking how your thoughts are constructed. I'm glad you did! Input.

1. You think the most about the things you see the most.

When you watch a lot of television, your thoughts are greatly influenced by the programs that you watch. Your thoughts are often driven by the kind of programs you watch, even your dreams. Watch what you watch!

2. You think along the music you listen to.

Music is powerful. You may find yourself speaking to yourself and others using song lyrics that you have been listening to.  You may even feel depressed or excited because of the music you're listening to. Be careful what you listen to.

3. You're the average of the people you socialise with the most.

Spending time with people gives them access to your thought pool. They can have positive or negative influence. It's better to stay away from negative friends. You may think that you will influence them to be positive but very few people are able to do that. In most instances we only find ourselves already sunk into the negative thoughts and wondering why we feel so low.

4. Reading positive material gives you a positive attitude.

Make a habit of reading. I don't mean those mind corrupting books full of erotic scenes. Positive self actualisation books and of course, The Bible. That will give you clear positive thoughts.

5. Your self-talk determines what you believe.

After all is said and done, we only do the things we believe we can. What we believe we can't, we either avoid or sabotage. Our beliefs are shaped by what we consistently say to ourselves. That is shaped by all the above listed factors.

As you can see, what you put into your mind through the eye and ear gates determines who you become. Make a deliberate choice to make the right input.

3 Peace Robbing Myths Exposed

#1. I need to clean up my act before I can get born again

You can never clean up your act enough to deserve salvation. It's salvation that will clean you up. The sin nature is replaced by the new creation in Christ the moment you accept Christ.

Romans 5:6-8 MSG

Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.

#2. God shuts me out when I do bad things

God doesn't act like we do, how we give a cold shoulder to people who make us mad. He commands us to forgive those who trespass against us. He doesn't request a higher standard from us than He lives by. He is perfection.

Hebrews 4:14-16 MSG

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.

#3. I need a special man of God to set me free from my weaknesses

The one you need is Jesus. He already paid the price for everything that might take away our peace. You need to surrender to him and accept that he paid for all your sins. It is his GRACE that makes us able to overcome and gain the mastery over the things that easily entangle us. As long as we're trying by our own strength we will not succeed.
Look at Paul's experience:

2 Corinthians 12:10, 7-9 MSG

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

4 Ingredients For Achievement

1. Attitude
If you want to be ahead of the pack, you need to consciously decide to master your attitude. You achieve what you secretly believe you can. Self sabotage is not a myth. It is the major culprit well camouflaged in excuses and avoidance that brings everything crumbling down. Choose a "can do" attitude and pretty soon the sky will be the limit.

2. Execution
It doesn't matter how great your idea is if it never comes to execution. Good intentions truly never earn. Only things actually DONE make a difference. Quit spending all the time by the drawing board. Planning is good, but don't end there. Procrastination is the thief of execution. Choose to stop procrastination today, NOT TOMORROW! Be systematic in your execution, not haphazard. So yes, do take time to plan how everything pans out, but don't get stuck there.

3. Industriousness
Successful people work hard, and so should you. I know someone is thinking, "no, I'd rather work smart." Good! After setting up your smart idea, you still need to work hard at it. You may not break a sweat at it, or you may enjoy it. All the same, you still get to work hard at it. Whether it's real estate, multi level marketing, or any other passive or aggressive income stream, if you neglect it you will be surprised one day to find NOTHING!

4. Order
Choose to be orderly in all you do. When you begin with the end in mind, you are better positioned to put your plan in an orderly fashion. You avoid leaving important steps to chance. Don't be too rigid, but when you have the process of your goal firmly set in your mind, you know when it's ok to adjust and adapt.

5 Indispensable Success Tips

The true meaning of success seems hidden from many people. Hours are spent; squandered on activities that ultimately are anti climatic. This is a source of unfulfilled lives charactrised by hopelessness and sudden changes in lifestyle when people have the sense that they have wasted years pursuing the wrong thing. Here are a few tips that might help you avoid ending up in this state.

1. Figure out the goal of the game.

It's pointless to play any game without first understanding what the goal is. God created you and I with a goal in mind. That goal is a relationship. Before anything else, we are to pursue a relationship with God through His Son Jesus. Solomon the wise king figured it out and proclaimed, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."

2. Figure out your unique purpose

Mark Twain said it best when he said, "The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why." As long as you live in someone else's mould of life, you will never be satisfied. Find your unique role, your purpose and your adventure will be unleashed.

3. Measure yourself by your own growth

Comparing yourself with other people will rob you of the greatness of your own life. Because you are unique and have a unique assignment, it only makes sense to compare that assignment by its previous state. Make goals and pursue them with everything you have. Very few things come close to the fulfilment of goals.

4. Live in the present

There's really only one place we ought to live; the present. If you choose to lament over your long gone "heydays" you will miss the good things happening now. You can't be a teenager forever. You need to embrace the changes that come with growing up. Enjoy your children, your job, your spouse and all that comes with the present life you have. If you sacrifice every ounce of joy in the present and pile it all in the future, you may never get to enjoy anything. Life is now. Be balanced. Recall the past with gratitude and plan ahead in wisdom but remember to live.

5. Take responsibility

Your choices today are shaping your future. You will reap what you sow. The same holds true for the past. Your choices in the past have shaped your current reality. It's up to you. Don't give someone or something else the locus of control over your life. When you take responsibility, you have the ability to change course any time you feel things need adjusting. When you abdicate your responsibility over your own life, you deny yourself the freedom to choose what you want.

Have a great week.

Tinei

5 Reasons Why You Need To Forgive

I've often heard people vehemently affirming that they will never forgive someone for this thing or the other. They think they will punish that person and imagine that whoever inflicted pain on them will live in perpetual regret. The truth is that choosing not to forgive often does more harm to the one not forgiving than the one not forgiven. Here are five reasons why you need to forgive.

1. Forgiving allows you to heal

While you may feel stabbing pain every time you remember what the person did to you, that pain can begin to heal after you make the choice to forgive and let go. You will not forget, but you will soon be able to talk about it without getting super emotional.

2. Forgiving allows you to be positive

When you don't forgive you can soon become a very negative person. People will find you less appealing to talk to. You become a bitter person and anything that reminds you of that incident or person you haven't let go of will quickly pull the "bitter you" switch. Most people avoid bitter people.

3. You become a strong likely agent of pain to others.

Bottled up negativity has the tendency to spring out on innocent victims. Hurt people hurt people. People who forgive quickly are good finders. They don't hold on to the negative. Those who don't forgive ignore everything good the other person ever did. They only focus on the negative, the last thing, the wrong thing. You become a source of pain on others because you only focus on the wrong things they do.

4. Forgiving others enables you to receive forgiveness from others

When you are so hard on others, you expect everyone else to be like that, even God. You will struggle to believe the word of God that says you are justified in Christ and in him all your sins are forgiven. Because of this, you will live a condemned life and fail to access the gift of what Jesus accomplished for us at the cross and in his resurrection.

5. Forgiveness restores relationships

While some relationships cannot be restored, many can. Forgiveness provides the platform upon which a new beginning can be built. It's better to be at peace with all people than to have grudges all over the place. Grudges make you paranoid, suspecting everyone of having a hidden agenda against you. Choose peace!

Enjoy your week.

Tinei

5 Steps to Help You Deal with Depression

Depression is more common than most people realise. It's such a complicated state that this post won't give an outright solution. My hope is that it will give a starting point to the healing process. Here are a few thoughts if you have been feeling low for a long time.

1. Change your focus

We gravitate to the direction of our focus. What you focus on grows. For as long as you are focused on your misfortunes you will never notice the sunny days. Count your blessings regularly, and create a gratitude list. Focusing on the positives will help you move towards happier days. If someone hurt you, forgive and move on. That doesn't mean they were right or that you're not hurting. It gives you the freedom to move on.

2. Change your self talk

Your confession to yourself dictates how you feel. Our emotions are a result of our thoughts. Speak positive statements to yourself. Write down positive affirmations on your phone or somewhere where you can readily access them. With time you will memorise those statements and they will become your default thinking. This will go a long way changing your attitude. Remember, attitude is everything!

3. Change your posture

NLP postulates that our emotions affect our posture and vice versa. Make a conscious effort to chin up, chest out and never slouch. You will soon realise that you feel better and breathe differently this way. Put on a smile and find things that make you laugh. Laughter is indeed the good medicine.

4. Talk to someone

Fighting your demons alone makes them seem much stronger than they really are. Talking to a trusted friend, counsellor or psychologist can often help you see things differently. Never walk alone.

5. Pray

Talking it out with God and reading the Bible is invaluable. When your focus is shifted towards the goodness of God, all His benefits and His grace, the small things often fall away.

All the best!

Tinei Shamu

5 Ways to Deal with Stress

Stress is a major contributor to other diseases. Many people today have not lived stress free lives in years and have no idea how to come out of their tormented state to a more peaceful state. Here are a few thoughts that can help you get rid of stress.

Define the impotant things in your life

One of the main contributors to stress are ignored important items. When you put off important things consistently, one day they will be urgent items requiring immediate attention and sometimes under unpleasant circumstances. When you define what is important, you have the opportunity to plan ways to take care of those things.

Learn to ask progressive questions

When going through difficult times, it pays off to ask the right questions. Asking questions that do not provide helpful answers will only perpetuate your stress. If for example you are having difficulty relating with someone and you ask yourself, "Why do they want to see me suffer?" Chances are that you will not come up with the right answer to help you move forward. Rather ask yourself, "How can I improve communication between the two of us in order to improve our relationship."

Exercise

Exercise improves emotional state. If you find that you're constantly feeling stressed and tired, exercise will help. Take a walk round the block. It doesn't have to be a heavy duty work out. Start small and you will see the benefits.

Share

A problem shared is a problem half solved. Find someone you can talk to who is mature and wise. Someone who can give good counsel. Be careful of people who encourage you in things that you know are unhealthy like drowning your sorrows in alcohol and drugs. That's not a good friend.

Pray

Philippians 4:6-9 MSG

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

Five Ways to Keep Your Resolutions Alive

The beginning of the year is characterized by various efforts to make lifestyle changes in line with better health, emotional status, business achievements and many other goals. As the end of January approaches, many will have fallen off the wagon already and either returned to their old ways or simply given up because “it is too hard”. Here are some thoughts to help you go for the long haul:

It is brave and commendable to move away from something unhealthy

Realising that you have some unhealthy habits or relationships is in fact the first step towards success. Most people remain in denial and nurse their toxic habits and relationship to their detriment. Having the courage to call it what it is and choosing to move away from it deserves praise. I have been in unhealthy relationships and my observation is that it is easier to rationalise and come up with all forms of excuses than it is to admit that the status quo is not working for my good. We all make mistakes and can learn a lot from them as long as we are not denying th

em.

 Stumbling only becomes a problem when you stop rising

If anyone ever told you it is easy to get rid of an old habit, they lied. Habits are sometimes called second nature. We are so used to doing things a certain way that it is automatic in many instances. We have learnt to cope with life in certain ways. Some people have been a part of our lives for so long even our sense of identity is tied to them. Remember this; the best way to get rid of a habit is to replace it with another. But even then, it takes a while to get used to new habits. Consistency is the secret. Do not be hard on yourself. Remain determined, set small goals that you can achieve daily and before you know it, you will have replaced the old undesirable habits. If you are walking away from a toxic relationship, remind yourself why you left every time you start having thoughts to return. Separation syndrome works an illusion that only recalls the good things about someone. Remember, you left them for the ugly things.

You are responsible for your life

There is always the temptation to blame someone or something for failing to make your desired changes stick. Be a champion and refuse to play the blame game! If one strategy is not working, find another. Read around your area of struggle and find how other people have managed to make it work. There is nothing new under the sun; at least as far as our lifestyle issues are concerned. Someone somewhere has faced the same challenge and found a way out. There is more than enough resource in you to slay your giant. You only need the right strategy.

 Fear of the unknown is paralyzing

Two thoughts afflict the minds of people leaving toxic relationships.

“How can I leave a relationship that has lasted so long?”

“How do I know if I will find someone better next time?”

This is your life, right now! It is not a rehearsal for the real thing. When your clock ticks end, that’s it! You deserve to be happy and you do not have to settle for second best or even fifth best. There is a life that consists of pure joy and peace. Do not squander your days in negative, unfulfilling, harmful and even degrading relationships. Second chances are for those that take a chance. This world is full of positive people. You only need a positive attitude to find them!

 Pray

Prayer gives you access to what the will of God is for your life. His will is for you to prosper in all things. His will is for you to rejoice always and to live a life of thanksgiving. He desires that you succeed. With God, all things are possible. Success is yours!