Case of the Ex

I've not known anyone or anything that has as much potential of ruining a marriage as the ex. Almost all women will agree that they have a passionate dislike for their husband's ex even if she is an angel. Nothing can ignite the competitive adrenaline and testosterone in men like the wife's ex. It's crazy, yet instructive.

God has given us emotions that help us relate with each other and at the same time help us understand the kind of relationship we have with him. In many instances in the old testament, God likened the worship of foreign gods to adultery. He defines himself as a jealous God. In the new testament comparing the law with grace, he says you can't mix the old with the new.

Allow me to use this allegory. I have found it a strange practice that is so common in the church today that in prayer, people seem to be conversing with God and the devil at the same time. I think the devil is like that ex that we found was wrong for us. He's that psychotic ex who tried to ruin us and we have carried baggage into our relationship with God. We have trust issues because of him, and if we're not deliberate and careful, we will ruin our current relationship because of him.

So imagine that you go on a date with your spouse. In your conversation, your speech is riddled with statements like, "Ex, I am no longer with you. You have no power over me. My heart is now sold out for my spouse. I command you to release my joy..." I believe the only one who's trying to get convinced here is you. If any of this were true, you would be captured by the presence of your spouse. You wouldn't care who's out there. You would be absorbed in the conversation you're having, not distracted by the ex.

Many believers today find "power" in cursing the devil. There's a time and place for that, but note that that's not prayer. Prayer is what you have with God. There's no room for the devil in that quality time. It's special. If you want to remove darkness, turn on the light. If you want your relationship with God to grow, focus on God. Whatever you focus on grows. If you focus on the devil and the demonic, that's all that will grow in your life.

So it follows that if you want your relationship with your spouse to grow, you need to forget about the past and build anew. Remember, the devil made off with only a third of the angels. He is outnumbered in numbers, in quality of character and in strength. So keep it in mind that though in time past he had you cornered, Jesus in his might came and loosed you from the devil's hold once and for all. Now keep your eyes on him, Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith.

Have a blessed week.

6 Character Check Points

If I could sum up what the predictor of a person's true worth in life is, I would say it's their character. It is evidenced by one's actions, but it's not really the actions that matter. It's the reasons why one does the things they do. Here are a few character check thoughts to ponder.

1. Do you treat yourself as though you're more special than others?

[Pro 1:19] MKJV1962 - So [are] the ways of everyone who gains unjust gain; it takes away its owners' life.

I'm always amazed in the mornings by drivers who cut queues and inevitably cause congestion by simply being unruly, selfish and self serving. It's almost everywhere where there is a queue in Zimbabwe. Someone always feels they are more important than everybody else and should get served first. This demonstrated that person's character. They are flawed in that they see everyone else as insignificant. This can happen in many different variations, but the thinking is the same.

2. Do you treat others as guilty suspects until proven otherwise?

People who think everyone else is up to no good live a difficult life. They miss out on the good in other people because they are always looking for the loop hole. Even if you tell them they are looking good, their interpretation and focus is that you mean every other day they look filthy! They always find the negative interpretation to everything others do or say.

3. Do you judge others only by their actions and yourself only by your intentions?

[Pro 11:1] MKJV1962 - False balances [are] hateful to the LORD; but a just weight [is] His delight.

This is a typical pattern, and most are guilty of this. We treat others as though their intentions don't matter. As the phrase goes, "Good intentions never earn." Unless they are ours. We need to balance the scales and use the same standard we use for ourselves on others.
4. Do you treat people with more money than you differently from those with less?

[2Co 5:16] MKJV1962 - So as we now know no one according to flesh, but even if we have known Christ according to flesh, yet now we no longer know Him so.

People who have an unhealthy view of money have this trait. They equate the value of the human to his monetary net worth. They forget that all people have the same maker, and he (the maker) is delighted with all his creation. Respect of people should never be on the basis of their money. We respect all our elders as such, all our brothers and sisters as such.

[Pro 22:2] MKJV1962 - The rich and poor meet together; the LORD [is] the maker of them all.

5. Do you think you have the right to eat, drink or watch whatever you like?

We are in fact stewards of our bodies. In this dispensation, we have the duty to ensure that we don't kill off our bodies by consuming substances that we know will choke the life out of us. We have a mandate to impact other people's lives, to impart our experiences to the next generation, to mentor and groom our children into responsible God fearing citizens. What we allow through the eye gate changes who we are. It may not seem so, but if you watch your speech and thought patterns you will realise that what you watch and listen to has an effect on you.

[1Co 6:19-20/MKJV1962] - Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit in you, whom you have of God? And you are not your own, for you are bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.

6. Do you only pray when something is wrong?

This habit reduces God to an ATM machine that you only go to when you need something. God desires a relationship. If we find friends who only call when they need something unbearable, then it can't be right to have such a relationship with our Father.

7. Do you act like you know everything?

Know it alls equate themselves with the omniscient God. They think they can reason everything and cannot learn anything else from anyone. This is a serious delusion! Humble yourself. No one knows everything. You can learn a lot more from others.

In summary, the way to check you character is summed up in the words of Jesus, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." - Mat 22:37-39.

7 Ways To Improve Your Decision Quality

We are all products of the decisions we have made in our lives. Our choices create the paths of our life journeys, leading us to destinies that we are either proud of or appalled by. There are a multitude of other factors that affect who and what we become, but the quality of our decisions lays the foundation upon which we can construct our future. Here are 7 ways to ensure that you make quality decisions.

1. Check your emotional state

High emotions are inversely related to quality decision making. Logic is diametrically opposed to clear thought. When you are raging in any extreme emotion, that is not the right time to make decisions with long term effects. That of course makes it hard to decide when to make decisions like who to marry, because such decisions are to a large extent determined by how you feel. Nevertheless, even such decisions require a sobre mind and as much of an unbiased critical evaluation before announcing the decision.

Note: Never let the pressure of a glamorous proposal push you into making a decision that will change the rest of your life when you really aren't ready to take that step.

2. Engage forethought

The late great Steve Covey said it best when he said, "Begin with the end in mind." People who are clear about their desired outcome have less trouble making quality decisions, because they know exactly what is relevant for the future they are building, and what isn't. Forethought enables you to assess the impact of each alternative decision in the safety of your mind. You explore the "what if's" in the healthy and objective context of course.

3. Expand your horizon

The limits to anyone's imagination are imposed by the width of his horizons. These horizons are the product of exposure. Travel and reading are excellent ways to expose your mind to what is possible beyond your country or even local town. Biographies of great decision makers such as celebrated leaders can enrich your mind in so many ways.

4. Relax

Great decision making requires an active mind. In order to keep your mind active, you need to save up your decision energy for things that matter. Identify quickly things that you can't change and those you need to delegate to other people. It's not a great idea to make big decisions when you are tense or tired. It's much better to do that while on vacation or anywhere where you are relaxed.

5. Believe in yourself

Nothing is a decision crippler like lack of confidence in yourself. We have this internal validation mechanism that affects our decisions in order to prove our secret beliefs about what we can and can't do. Virgil said it best when he said, "They can because they think they can." It's those who think they are able to do certain things that actually succeed at it. Those believing otherwise will sabotage their own efforts and prove to themselves what they knew would happen, fail.

6. Define your vision

Your vision for your life is the compas that defines who you are and what you value. Without a clear vision, you will always be swayed because you have too many options. Vision puts your life into perspective. It defines your purpose. It clarfies your goals. It motivates you. Without a vision, nothing meaningful can be built.

7. Look to God

Prayer is indispensable. It allows God to speak peace into your storms. His word formulates the framework of your aspirations. His wisdom enables you to do far more than you can ever imagine. A relationship with Him gives you access into the benefits reserved for those engrafted into the true vine, Jesus.

Reason of Being

The search for meaning has baffled many minds over the years. Philosophers have written volumes upon volumes on purpose. Why are we here? Only simpletons coast through life without battling with this question.

Could we be a meer progression of a species with the base purpose of being a link in an ecosystem? Could we possibly be at the same level as cats and dogs as some animal activists purport? Are our lives merely a physical existence terminated at the end of our lease on earth?

Religion has tried to offer explanations, but has been reduced to ritualism and a set of rules no one lives by. Many fall short of the requirements and soon give up trying. The ones that remain put on facades; masks that portray them in a different light from who they truly are. Others identify the hypocrisy and decide not to be a part of it.

Thank God for GRACE. That God-man called Jesus entered the constrained dimension of time with the much needed intervention. He turned upside down the vain attempts of religion at getting to the Creator. He stripped bare the desperate state of mankind. He demonstrated what the purpose of life is, and how it can be attained - In him, with him and through him - the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

The purpose is to connect with the Creator - God. The only way is through Jesus. Personal methods outside him will not work. Being a nice person will not work. Being good is insufficient. Altruism won't work. Self justification won't do it. Only accepting his Lordship will work. Then he will give you a new nature. One that is capable of connecting with God.

Once the connection is made, you may enjoy the side effects. Righteousness, peace and joy. Fulfilment, purpose and belonging. Love, hope and faith. All that not by exertion of personal virtue. Only by complete reliance on GRACE. Only by relationship, not religion. That is Christianity - a relationship. His GRACE qualifies and enables. Nothing else in the entire world can do this. It is an excellent idea to pay attention to this good news. It's even better to share it! GRACE!

Arise Zimbabwe

Times sure have changed. I always used to wonder why elders called them "the good old days". Now I know. I remember when we used to leave milk bottles by the gate with coins or tokens, and the milk man would collect and leave a bottle of fresh milk. Newspaper vendors would leave heaps of money by the corner while going about their business without the fear of someone running off with their earnings.

Not today. Integrity has become a rare commodity. Unfashionable. Undesirable. Unattractive. People would rather deal with those who understand the kickback system. No lubrication, no deal. Yet this is the rust that has torn through the fabric of our nation.

A man's imagination is limited to the horizon of his exposure. A whole generation has been raised in this environment. All they know is how to get ahead by paying the right people. No business ethic. No effort to compete on excellence. They have become calloused by the vicissitudes they have faced in an empoverished country with an economy spiraling into a bottomless abyss. No other place would be a better example of the nature of poverty - a mindset.

This state of the nation cries out for integrity. Evil prevails when good men do nothing. Instead of speculating what could work, we ought rather to be getting our hands dirty, putting our hands to the plough. Intelligence is measured by results, not certificates on the wall. Wisdom begins by bowing the knee to the one true God, not a puffed out chest.

GOD with US. TOGETHER as ONE. UNITED WE stand. If we will put aside selfish interest, we will prosper. That "what's in it for me?" attitude has to stop. How shameful it is when one is prepared to block the prosperity of a family, company, city, or country for self gain. Patriotism is not allegiance to a political party. It's commitment to a nation. May the words we recited as boy scouts reverberate in our hearts. "I PROMISE THAT I'LL DO MY BEST TO DO MY DUTY TO GOD. TO SERVE MY COUNTRY AND OTHER PEOPLE AND TO KEEP THE SCOUTS' LAW."

4 Ways to Avoid Burnout

I recall a time when chronic fatigue was my daily state. It was as though I was just coasting through life, with a load imposed on me that no one could help me bear. I was burnt out. At the office and at church. There was no place to rest. Here are a few things I learnt in my transition from this place:

1. Learn to say NO

It's better to refuse to take on any more extra load than to accept every suggested thing and crumble under the pressure. Some things seem important, and they are. But you can't do everything important. Someone somewhere is able to do it with less strain. Saying NO doesn't make you a bad guy. Failing to deliver though may lead some people to see you as unreliable and inefficient.

2. Concentrate on the things that only you can do.

Delegate what your subordinates can do just as well as you, or better. When you focus on those things that only you can do you make better use of time, and you have less to do. You commit more time to meditate on those key tasks that you produce better results there.

3. Focus on serving in the area of your gifting.

When you serve in areas where you are not gifted, you struggle to produce results and you may soon start to feel burnt out. Serving in the area of your calling, gifting and passion makes each opportunity to serve an exciting adventure. You look forward to it. It's like a hobby.

4. Remember to serve as unto the Lord.

When you feel used in the church and that bothers you, you probably need to reevaluate your reasons for serving. The whole point of serving is to be used of God. If that is not what you want, STOP! You're in the wrong place.

I hope this helps in some way.
Have a great week.
Tinei

Short Fuses and Blown Gaskets - 4 Steps to Anger Management

Are you one of those people with a short fuse? Do you get angry quickly and easily and maybe at times wonder how you blew off that gasket? Maybe you know someone like that. I know some people who even brag about it. Some struggle with it. They don't know how to master that anger that's always boiling under a weak gasket.

There are many reasons why people may end up this way. Of all of them, there is one very common trigger. If you examine your life for this trigger you may have just found the solution to your problem. Finding the issue is one thing, dealing with it is another.

The number one reason people have anger issues is a blocked major goal. When your path to something very important to you is unfairly blocked, you can easily become an angry person. Whether the blockage came by a truly unfair mechanism is subjective. It's all a matter of perception; your perception.

Here's how to deal with it:

1. Identity your blocked goal.

This could range from reversible things like a business, or education to irreversible things like having your father around when he couldn't be because he passed on or left you and your mum. Identifying it is an important first step.

2. Identify who blocked it and forgive them.

Whether this was a corrupt official, a misinformed parent, a deceased parent or any other person, you need to forgive them. Sometimes telling the person works, but in many instances this may not be practical or possible. In that case you can write them a letter and explain how they blocked your goal and how you feel about it. You can then tell them in that letter that you forgive them and then burn the letter. Tell yourself that as the letter burns, you are letting go of the anger you felt towards them.

3. Think whether there is no other way to achieve that goal.

Sometimes our vision is obscured by negative emotions. Giving things a deep thought after letting go of negative emotions can give fresh insight. You may find a good alternative, sometimes not because of the nature of the goal. Nevertheless, it's easier to close that chapter at this stage and move on anger free than before.

4. Pray

Asking God to help you deal with potentially aggravating circumstances in the future helps you deal with things you couldn't in times past. Be honest with God in your prayers. Let him know how you feel and ask for help. You'll be amazed how things work out.

I wish you all the best.

Tinei

Money or the Box?

Money makes the world go round - so it's been said. The level of collective attention towards wealth creation is astounding, yet only about 3% of people control 97% of the money in the world. The love of money, as the Bible says, is the root of evil. Wars are being fought as I write this over control of oil reserves and diamond fields. Money to many represents security. So why would God want us to give of our money?

1. God wants to be your source.

In reality, God is the source of our income. Businesses and bosses are only channels by which the money gets to us. God wants us to realise and acknowledge him as our source so that he can give us more.

2. You're not ready for something if you can't give it away.

This is true for more than just money. If you clutch on to anything other than Christ with dear life and fear losing it, you're not ready for it. When you have the confidence that you deserve it and you can get it again should you give it away, then you have gained the mastery over it. You trust that God who provided the first time will provide again as long as you are operating within the boundaries of his will; in love and by faith.

3. God wants you to be a blessing

God’s method of meeting the needs of people is through other people. When you participate in the cycle of giving, you are participating in God's blessing agenda and you become a recipient of more because you are an effective channel.

4. God wants you to experience true joy

The highest level of joy is in meeting the deep needs of other people. You may enjoy buying a new car or house, but the joy of having alleviated the pain of someone else, doing something totally life changing for them is indescribable. When you are significant to someone and they absolutely cannot and will not pay you back and you know it from the onset, you experience the true meaning of giving. God wants you to experience that.

5. God wants you to be like him

God is a giver. He loved the world and GAVE his only son to die for us that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. Every good and perfect gift comes from him. He wants you to be like that, to share in the grace of giving.

Try it out and see if you will not be fulfilled. It is completely refreshing and liberating. This is what's in the box. I'd say go for the box!

Have a great week.

5 Things You Need To Know About Your Thoughts

Most of us by now have come across the saying, "You become what you think about." If you haven't, I encourage you to take interest in personal growth material. You may be asking how your thoughts are constructed. I'm glad you did! Input.

1. You think the most about the things you see the most.

When you watch a lot of television, your thoughts are greatly influenced by the programs that you watch. Your thoughts are often driven by the kind of programs you watch, even your dreams. Watch what you watch!

2. You think along the music you listen to.

Music is powerful. You may find yourself speaking to yourself and others using song lyrics that you have been listening to.  You may even feel depressed or excited because of the music you're listening to. Be careful what you listen to.

3. You're the average of the people you socialise with the most.

Spending time with people gives them access to your thought pool. They can have positive or negative influence. It's better to stay away from negative friends. You may think that you will influence them to be positive but very few people are able to do that. In most instances we only find ourselves already sunk into the negative thoughts and wondering why we feel so low.

4. Reading positive material gives you a positive attitude.

Make a habit of reading. I don't mean those mind corrupting books full of erotic scenes. Positive self actualisation books and of course, The Bible. That will give you clear positive thoughts.

5. Your self-talk determines what you believe.

After all is said and done, we only do the things we believe we can. What we believe we can't, we either avoid or sabotage. Our beliefs are shaped by what we consistently say to ourselves. That is shaped by all the above listed factors.

As you can see, what you put into your mind through the eye and ear gates determines who you become. Make a deliberate choice to make the right input.

3 Peace Robbing Myths Exposed

#1. I need to clean up my act before I can get born again

You can never clean up your act enough to deserve salvation. It's salvation that will clean you up. The sin nature is replaced by the new creation in Christ the moment you accept Christ.

Romans 5:6-8 MSG

Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.

#2. God shuts me out when I do bad things

God doesn't act like we do, how we give a cold shoulder to people who make us mad. He commands us to forgive those who trespass against us. He doesn't request a higher standard from us than He lives by. He is perfection.

Hebrews 4:14-16 MSG

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.

#3. I need a special man of God to set me free from my weaknesses

The one you need is Jesus. He already paid the price for everything that might take away our peace. You need to surrender to him and accept that he paid for all your sins. It is his GRACE that makes us able to overcome and gain the mastery over the things that easily entangle us. As long as we're trying by our own strength we will not succeed.
Look at Paul's experience:

2 Corinthians 12:10, 7-9 MSG

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

4 Ingredients For Achievement

1. Attitude
If you want to be ahead of the pack, you need to consciously decide to master your attitude. You achieve what you secretly believe you can. Self sabotage is not a myth. It is the major culprit well camouflaged in excuses and avoidance that brings everything crumbling down. Choose a "can do" attitude and pretty soon the sky will be the limit.

2. Execution
It doesn't matter how great your idea is if it never comes to execution. Good intentions truly never earn. Only things actually DONE make a difference. Quit spending all the time by the drawing board. Planning is good, but don't end there. Procrastination is the thief of execution. Choose to stop procrastination today, NOT TOMORROW! Be systematic in your execution, not haphazard. So yes, do take time to plan how everything pans out, but don't get stuck there.

3. Industriousness
Successful people work hard, and so should you. I know someone is thinking, "no, I'd rather work smart." Good! After setting up your smart idea, you still need to work hard at it. You may not break a sweat at it, or you may enjoy it. All the same, you still get to work hard at it. Whether it's real estate, multi level marketing, or any other passive or aggressive income stream, if you neglect it you will be surprised one day to find NOTHING!

4. Order
Choose to be orderly in all you do. When you begin with the end in mind, you are better positioned to put your plan in an orderly fashion. You avoid leaving important steps to chance. Don't be too rigid, but when you have the process of your goal firmly set in your mind, you know when it's ok to adjust and adapt.

5 Indispensable Success Tips

The true meaning of success seems hidden from many people. Hours are spent; squandered on activities that ultimately are anti climatic. This is a source of unfulfilled lives charactrised by hopelessness and sudden changes in lifestyle when people have the sense that they have wasted years pursuing the wrong thing. Here are a few tips that might help you avoid ending up in this state.

1. Figure out the goal of the game.

It's pointless to play any game without first understanding what the goal is. God created you and I with a goal in mind. That goal is a relationship. Before anything else, we are to pursue a relationship with God through His Son Jesus. Solomon the wise king figured it out and proclaimed, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."

2. Figure out your unique purpose

Mark Twain said it best when he said, "The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why." As long as you live in someone else's mould of life, you will never be satisfied. Find your unique role, your purpose and your adventure will be unleashed.

3. Measure yourself by your own growth

Comparing yourself with other people will rob you of the greatness of your own life. Because you are unique and have a unique assignment, it only makes sense to compare that assignment by its previous state. Make goals and pursue them with everything you have. Very few things come close to the fulfilment of goals.

4. Live in the present

There's really only one place we ought to live; the present. If you choose to lament over your long gone "heydays" you will miss the good things happening now. You can't be a teenager forever. You need to embrace the changes that come with growing up. Enjoy your children, your job, your spouse and all that comes with the present life you have. If you sacrifice every ounce of joy in the present and pile it all in the future, you may never get to enjoy anything. Life is now. Be balanced. Recall the past with gratitude and plan ahead in wisdom but remember to live.

5. Take responsibility

Your choices today are shaping your future. You will reap what you sow. The same holds true for the past. Your choices in the past have shaped your current reality. It's up to you. Don't give someone or something else the locus of control over your life. When you take responsibility, you have the ability to change course any time you feel things need adjusting. When you abdicate your responsibility over your own life, you deny yourself the freedom to choose what you want.

Have a great week.

Tinei

5 Reasons Why You Need To Forgive

I've often heard people vehemently affirming that they will never forgive someone for this thing or the other. They think they will punish that person and imagine that whoever inflicted pain on them will live in perpetual regret. The truth is that choosing not to forgive often does more harm to the one not forgiving than the one not forgiven. Here are five reasons why you need to forgive.

1. Forgiving allows you to heal

While you may feel stabbing pain every time you remember what the person did to you, that pain can begin to heal after you make the choice to forgive and let go. You will not forget, but you will soon be able to talk about it without getting super emotional.

2. Forgiving allows you to be positive

When you don't forgive you can soon become a very negative person. People will find you less appealing to talk to. You become a bitter person and anything that reminds you of that incident or person you haven't let go of will quickly pull the "bitter you" switch. Most people avoid bitter people.

3. You become a strong likely agent of pain to others.

Bottled up negativity has the tendency to spring out on innocent victims. Hurt people hurt people. People who forgive quickly are good finders. They don't hold on to the negative. Those who don't forgive ignore everything good the other person ever did. They only focus on the negative, the last thing, the wrong thing. You become a source of pain on others because you only focus on the wrong things they do.

4. Forgiving others enables you to receive forgiveness from others

When you are so hard on others, you expect everyone else to be like that, even God. You will struggle to believe the word of God that says you are justified in Christ and in him all your sins are forgiven. Because of this, you will live a condemned life and fail to access the gift of what Jesus accomplished for us at the cross and in his resurrection.

5. Forgiveness restores relationships

While some relationships cannot be restored, many can. Forgiveness provides the platform upon which a new beginning can be built. It's better to be at peace with all people than to have grudges all over the place. Grudges make you paranoid, suspecting everyone of having a hidden agenda against you. Choose peace!

Enjoy your week.

Tinei

5 Steps to Help You Deal with Depression

Depression is more common than most people realise. It's such a complicated state that this post won't give an outright solution. My hope is that it will give a starting point to the healing process. Here are a few thoughts if you have been feeling low for a long time.

1. Change your focus

We gravitate to the direction of our focus. What you focus on grows. For as long as you are focused on your misfortunes you will never notice the sunny days. Count your blessings regularly, and create a gratitude list. Focusing on the positives will help you move towards happier days. If someone hurt you, forgive and move on. That doesn't mean they were right or that you're not hurting. It gives you the freedom to move on.

2. Change your self talk

Your confession to yourself dictates how you feel. Our emotions are a result of our thoughts. Speak positive statements to yourself. Write down positive affirmations on your phone or somewhere where you can readily access them. With time you will memorise those statements and they will become your default thinking. This will go a long way changing your attitude. Remember, attitude is everything!

3. Change your posture

NLP postulates that our emotions affect our posture and vice versa. Make a conscious effort to chin up, chest out and never slouch. You will soon realise that you feel better and breathe differently this way. Put on a smile and find things that make you laugh. Laughter is indeed the good medicine.

4. Talk to someone

Fighting your demons alone makes them seem much stronger than they really are. Talking to a trusted friend, counsellor or psychologist can often help you see things differently. Never walk alone.

5. Pray

Talking it out with God and reading the Bible is invaluable. When your focus is shifted towards the goodness of God, all His benefits and His grace, the small things often fall away.

All the best!

Tinei Shamu

5 Ways to Deal with Stress

Stress is a major contributor to other diseases. Many people today have not lived stress free lives in years and have no idea how to come out of their tormented state to a more peaceful state. Here are a few thoughts that can help you get rid of stress.

Define the impotant things in your life

One of the main contributors to stress are ignored important items. When you put off important things consistently, one day they will be urgent items requiring immediate attention and sometimes under unpleasant circumstances. When you define what is important, you have the opportunity to plan ways to take care of those things.

Learn to ask progressive questions

When going through difficult times, it pays off to ask the right questions. Asking questions that do not provide helpful answers will only perpetuate your stress. If for example you are having difficulty relating with someone and you ask yourself, "Why do they want to see me suffer?" Chances are that you will not come up with the right answer to help you move forward. Rather ask yourself, "How can I improve communication between the two of us in order to improve our relationship."

Exercise

Exercise improves emotional state. If you find that you're constantly feeling stressed and tired, exercise will help. Take a walk round the block. It doesn't have to be a heavy duty work out. Start small and you will see the benefits.

Share

A problem shared is a problem half solved. Find someone you can talk to who is mature and wise. Someone who can give good counsel. Be careful of people who encourage you in things that you know are unhealthy like drowning your sorrows in alcohol and drugs. That's not a good friend.

Pray

Philippians 4:6-9 MSG

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

Five Ways to Keep Your Resolutions Alive

The beginning of the year is characterized by various efforts to make lifestyle changes in line with better health, emotional status, business achievements and many other goals. As the end of January approaches, many will have fallen off the wagon already and either returned to their old ways or simply given up because “it is too hard”. Here are some thoughts to help you go for the long haul:

It is brave and commendable to move away from something unhealthy

Realising that you have some unhealthy habits or relationships is in fact the first step towards success. Most people remain in denial and nurse their toxic habits and relationship to their detriment. Having the courage to call it what it is and choosing to move away from it deserves praise. I have been in unhealthy relationships and my observation is that it is easier to rationalise and come up with all forms of excuses than it is to admit that the status quo is not working for my good. We all make mistakes and can learn a lot from them as long as we are not denying th

em.

 Stumbling only becomes a problem when you stop rising

If anyone ever told you it is easy to get rid of an old habit, they lied. Habits are sometimes called second nature. We are so used to doing things a certain way that it is automatic in many instances. We have learnt to cope with life in certain ways. Some people have been a part of our lives for so long even our sense of identity is tied to them. Remember this; the best way to get rid of a habit is to replace it with another. But even then, it takes a while to get used to new habits. Consistency is the secret. Do not be hard on yourself. Remain determined, set small goals that you can achieve daily and before you know it, you will have replaced the old undesirable habits. If you are walking away from a toxic relationship, remind yourself why you left every time you start having thoughts to return. Separation syndrome works an illusion that only recalls the good things about someone. Remember, you left them for the ugly things.

You are responsible for your life

There is always the temptation to blame someone or something for failing to make your desired changes stick. Be a champion and refuse to play the blame game! If one strategy is not working, find another. Read around your area of struggle and find how other people have managed to make it work. There is nothing new under the sun; at least as far as our lifestyle issues are concerned. Someone somewhere has faced the same challenge and found a way out. There is more than enough resource in you to slay your giant. You only need the right strategy.

 Fear of the unknown is paralyzing

Two thoughts afflict the minds of people leaving toxic relationships.

“How can I leave a relationship that has lasted so long?”

“How do I know if I will find someone better next time?”

This is your life, right now! It is not a rehearsal for the real thing. When your clock ticks end, that’s it! You deserve to be happy and you do not have to settle for second best or even fifth best. There is a life that consists of pure joy and peace. Do not squander your days in negative, unfulfilling, harmful and even degrading relationships. Second chances are for those that take a chance. This world is full of positive people. You only need a positive attitude to find them!

 Pray

Prayer gives you access to what the will of God is for your life. His will is for you to prosper in all things. His will is for you to rejoice always and to live a life of thanksgiving. He desires that you succeed. With God, all things are possible. Success is yours!

Waving The Zimbabwean Flag High In Cape Town Business

Julius Munyaradzi Shamu

Today I am proud and excited to feature in an interview my brother, Julius who heads Shamstone Production in Cape Town South Africa. Without further ado, let's get right into it!

Who is Julius Munyaradzi Shamu?

Julius Munyaradzi Shamu is a proud husband, father, friend, brother, soccer coach, business associate, Director, CEO and Founder of Shamstone Production & Entertainment based in Cape Town.

What was the inspiration behind the formation of the company?

The inspiration behind Shamstone Productions was for the need to unite our fellow Zimbabwean compatriots in the diaspora by offering quality entertainment, festivals, gatherings and special events. In 2006 we formed a non-profit organisation called the Zimforum with the likes of Dr David Katerere and Dr Havana Chikoto, whose sole mandate was for social gatherings. Unfortunately the Zimforum did not survive for long.

Cape Shooters?

In 2009, we formed a soccer team called Cape Shooters, whose sole mandate was for the development of sport within our Zimbabwe Cape Town community. As founder and head coach, I have managed to sustain the team and we have done well in the league that we participate in. Although we haven’t won any medals yet we have managed to reach semi-finals of the competition. Our team has grown from strength to strength and have 40 registered players.

Interesting...

The love of music and bringing people together for networking inspired me to start my company Shamstone Production & Entertainment (Pty Ltd) with the aim of offering the upcoming artists a platform to showcase their talent.  It is from this background that I started organising events. As an entrepreneur I did not only want to concentrate on music only but diversifying into special events.
My first event was the Miss Zimbabwe Cape Town 2013. The event was successful with a turnout of about 220 guests. It was also aired on Cape Town TV. The event also featured upcoming Zimbabwe artists and DJs based in Cape Town. I also hosted the Couple’s Valentine’s Party Feb 2013, Zim@34 Family Day Independence Celebrations April 2013, and Women’s Day August 2013.

Which of the events that you have done so far are you most proud of?

I am most proud of the Miss Zimbabwe Cape Town 2013, Zim@34 Family Day Celebrations and Women’s Day Celebrations and this is because it was the first time these events were held in Cape Town and they were instant hit with the fans and audience. The support was just overwhelming.
The challenges that I have faced was lack of sponsors and having to use my own resources  to put an event together is quite challenging, but the responses I get from people and my own inner drive just keeps me going. I have a family structure and friends that back me up, people that believe and support me no matter what and that keep me motivated and moving.

What's your ultimate dream?

My ultimate dream is to see my company grow into a household name and recognised not only in Southern Africa but in the world. To see my company as a company that supports upcoming artists and help them grow into the music industry. To help me achieve that it is with this that I joined as association called Performing Arts Networking of South Africa, a platform for upcoming artists.
Apart from running my own business, I created a Facebook page called Zimbabwe Professionals in Cape Town. This Facebook page is where you find Zimbabweans in Cape Town who are running their own businesses who uses the page to advertise their businesses such as Plumbers, Electricians, Builders, private Teachers, Shuttle drivers etc. I also use the Facebook page to advertise for jobs that are available within the community. I am basically an advocate for businesses run by the Zimbabweans in Cape Town.

What's the next big thing on the cards at Shamstone Production?

The next big event on the cards is the Cape Town Zimbabwe Excellence Awards to be held on the 04th of April 2015. The award ceremony seeks to recognize and acknowledge the Zimbabweans in Cape Town whom through various initiatives such as sports, media, academic, businesses and entertainment have excelled in making a positive contribution to the Development of Cape Town.

By the end of November 2014 we will be proud to introduce our new project: We launching the new clothing line called iMPress. This clothing line is for the distinguished gentleman, the formal wear which can be worn with either a tie of with no tie.

That's diversity! Any parting words?

I am very much privileged to have the support of my beloved wife, friends, and business associates who complements, understands and support my vision. I am also grateful to my team for their support and not forgetting my fans and followers. All the people that I have mentioned inspire me to keep going and never give up and most important not to listen to the sceptic and the critics but to focus on my goals.

Thank you so much for your time Julius. We wish you all the best with your business and once again, we're extremely proud of the good work you're doing.

For more visit:

shamstoneproduction.com  

He's Able!

The Lord will demolish the house of the proud: but he will establish the border of the widow. - Proverbs 15:25

Sometimes life deals us a bad hand. We try hard to understand the reasons why bad things happen to us even though we are good people. We begin to feel like God has left us, like the heavens are covered by a large brass blanket impenetrable by our prayers.

One lady I know went through a horrible ordeal. Her husband whom she was married to for only a few years mysteriously got killed through a series of events that made news, albeit not in a manner leading to the resolution of the actual facts surrounding the case.

"Having grown up as an orphan, it had always been my dream to have a family of my own. I was in such a state of denial that I refused to accept that he was gone. I kept thinking he would just come back home as he had always done every day. I couldn't understand why people keep leaving me. My financial situation didn't make things easier. I had no idea how I was going to afford living in the house I was occupying. "

"But God had a plan. I got a raise at work and things got a bit easier. Then there was a program that saw me becoming a home owner. It was unbelievable. All these things happened shortly after we laid him to rest. I'm not happy that he died and these things happened. Rather, I am happy that there is a God whose ear is inclined towards the prayer of the widow. "

You may be in a situation similar to this woman. May her testimony bring you hope. We can never replace the people we lose that were dear to us, but we can find hope in God.

If She Could Forgive and Move On, So Can You!

This week let's talk about a subject that many find difficult to deal with daily. Forgiveness is for your own good. Even though you may feel that you are being hard on someone by not forgiving him or her, you are actually working against yourself. When you do not forgive, you bind yourself to that act of violation that was worked against you. By forgiving you release yourself from the act and you are free to move on. It does not mean that by forgiving you are condoning the wrong done against you. It simply means that you acknowledge that you were wronged but you are choosing to move on free from the hurt that was inflicted upon you.

A young lady once asked me to help her work through the issues that were affecting her. Sometimes all we need is a listening ear. She had tested positive for HIV at a time when she was about to remarry a fine young lad in her church. We arranged a meeting and after the pleasantries, she got into her story:

“I feel like I am carrying this load that I cannot let go of. There are three people I’m failing to forgive because I feel they contributed to my ending up in this place. They are my ex-husband, my dad and my mum.”

“In what way were they involved?” I enquired.

“My ex-husband used to cheat on me and I know he is the one who infected me with this virus because he is the only man I have been with,” she said, “and I only found out that he had two ex-wives out of the country after we got married. I got married to him in a rush. I was young and coming from a broken family. Life was hard. I thought getting married would be a way to get away from being a street kid since my mother had passed away. My father was nowhere to be found and there was no one from the family willing to take care of me. When my mother passed away, my siblings and I were not informed. We only found out about her death later. She suffered from HIV AIDS and none of us the children knew about this. What I remembered was the pain of seeing my father cheating on my mother. If my father hadn’t infected my mother with HIV maybe she could have lived longer to see us grow up and probably my life could have taken a different route.”

A momentary silence followed as I allowed her to recover from the emotions that were taking over as she told her story.

“When did you find out about your status?” I resumed.

“Last year: after I started pre-marital counselling. It is a church pre-requisite for couples to get tested before marriage. When I got the results I was sure they had made a mistake. I did not believe the results. I only went for a second test four months later since my fiancé and I were planning to get married. The results were the same. It was difficult to deal with, so I did nothing until when my brother (the last born in my family) was not well. He tested HIV positive from birth. It gave me a wakeup call to do something about myself. Now I am on treatment and it is really hard. The pills sometimes make me feel sick.”

“How did your fiancé take it?”

“I am grateful that he has taken it well. It was not easy as you can imagine. I expected him to walk away. It can’t be easy for anyone but he has been there for me and promised to stick by me regardless.”

“You are blessed to have such a caring fiancé.”

“Yes, I really appreciate him for all he has done for me.”

“I cannot say I know exactly how you feel about all you have gone through. I imagine though that it must be really hard given that you are living with what I might call a “scar” because you have to live with HIV. It is unlike someone who had a bad encounter that just happened as an event. You have to live with the consequences of these events and they are affecting you. Were any of these people born again?” I asked.

“Only my mum was born again, my dad and ex-husband were not.”

“I find a lot of times that we struggle with forgiveness because of our perspective of the situation. God uses man to achieve his purposes on earth. It is easy for us to acknowledge that someone was used by God to reach out to us in times of need. Unfortunately, the devil also uses people and we don’t quite find it equally easy to acknowledge that one is used of the devil. Remember that the word of God says that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers and spiritual wickedness in high places.[1] Though people may be involved, the real enemy is the devil. He is the one who comes to kill, steal and destroy[2] and wherever you see some form of stealing, killing and destroying, the devil is at work.

“I see that your joy has been stolen from you, there is an attempt at stealing your health and your relationship with your father was stolen and destroyed. Do you think that is the work of man alone? When we do not realise that the devil is at work in such situations, we are no longer in a position to love one another as the Bible instructs us[3][4] but we develop hatred, anger and bitterness. These are not the fruits of the Spirit of God but of the flesh.[5]We ought to love people but we do not have to accept their actions. Obviously people who are used of the devil are involved in participation, but where they are not born again what do we expect? How can we expect the fruits of the Spirit of God where there is only the flesh? The nature of the unregenerate man is to sin.”

At this point she was nodding in agreement.“We accept people and forgive people,” I continued, “but it does not mean we have to like what they did. We love them in small doses, even from afar until we are ready to engage them again. In your case, two thirds of the people are no longer alive but you can still forgive and release them. This is for your own good, but you do not have to do it unless you are ready. You might want to think about what I have said for a while and then you can speak out words to release them when you are ready.”

“I am ready. I want to do it now.”

“Let us pray. Follow after me and say these words from your heart. Say ‘Father, I acknowledge today that I was hurt. The things that were done to me are painful but I choose not to regard the pain. I choose to forgive my ex-husband. I release him from my heart. I forgive my father and mother. I release them from my heart. You Lord are the healer. Heal the pain in my heart. I thank you that by your Spirit I can do all things. Thank you for your joy which is my strength. I thank you for my freedom. I receive it and declare that I am free indeed. I choose your Kingdom. It is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Amen”

As we prayed, tears rolled down her cheeks. Slowly she followed after my words giving thought to all of them. Then as we affirmed her freedom and joy she began to smile. After the prayer I asked her how she felt. “I feel so light, like a huge load has been lifted off me” she replied with a smile. Two weeks later I asked her if the feeling of freedom had endured beyond the moment and she replied, “I am enjoying my life much better now. Thank you very much. You cannot control what you go through in life but what you control is how you react to the situations. My inspiration continues to come from the word of God which tells me that He who has begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. ” I am proud to serve the God who heals all kinds of wounds restoring people to a place of peace and joy.

You too can forgive.

It does not matter what they did to you. It is for your own good and you will definitely enjoy life better when you release those that offended you. Choose life and obey God. The prayer says, “Forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Such is God’s expectation from us that we should expect him to forgive us as we forgive others. Unforgiveness is unnecessary baggage that you bring into your own life and keep for as long as you like. You can choose to get rid of it today. I trust that you will make the right decision and find yourself some much needed freedom.

[1]Ephesians 6:12
[2]John 10:10
[3]John 13:34-35
[4]John 15:12, 17

[5]Galatians 5:19-23

 

Student Entrepreneurs' Opportunity to Shine

Munyaradzi Shadaya

It is my honor and pleasure to feature this week an inspiring gentleman (in every sense of the word) whom I have known for the past few years. Munyaradzi is one of those people that you talk to and you just can't help thinking, "This is a wise young lad!" He was awarded the Global Student Entrepreneur Award (GSEA) in 2009 and
was appointed to serve as GSEA Regional Ambassador for Africa. He still serves in this capacity.

Munyaradzi has co-authored a book entitled "Turning Risk Into Reward" where he writes about his business venture that landed him the award and opened avenues that most entrepreneurs only dream of. He is the founder and chairman of Impetus Global Limited, a consultancy company.

I have often been of the opinion that we have brilliant young people in Zimbabwe who just do not have access to information and the objective of this interview is to amplify information with the hope that another brilliant young student entrepreneur somewhere will stumble on this interview and make the most of it!


What is GSEA?

GSEA IS A PROGRAM THAT HONORS COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY STUDENTS WHO OWN AND RUN A FOR-PROFIT BUSINESS, AT THE SAME TIME AS JUGGLING THE PRESSURE OF THEIR STUDIES. EACH YEAR, GSEA HOLDS NATIONAL COMPETIONS, AND NATIONAL CHAMPIONS WILL CONVERGE AT THE THEMATIC GSEA GLOBAL FINALS TO STAND A CHANCE TO WIN OVER $150000 IN PRIZES. THE PROGRAM IS RUN GLOBALLY BY THE ENTREPRENEURS ORGANISATION (WWW.EONETWORK.ORG). 

How did you get to know about GSEA?

It was a miracle. I read a newspaper article in a Saturday Herald Article on a partnership that had been struck between Zimbabwean and South African youth entrepreneurship organizations. Being a young student entrepreneur, I was thrilled to locate them and get involved with their programs. In searching for them over the internet, I failed to get any online data on their activities, nor their location. Instead, I only managed to get directed to www.gsea.org. That’s when my journey with the Global Student Entrepreneur Awards (GSEA) begun.

What did the participation add to you?

Life changing! My involvement with the GSEA was first thrilling! I got to present my business before CEOs and Entrepreneurs running successful multimillion dollar companies from all over the world…and I did all this when I was still a university student. I got tremendous exposure, a total mind shift and a good idea of how business runs globally. I have been harvesting good business rewards from networks I created during all my visits to the US on related missions. GSEA has also allowed me to serve my good country and continent, through planting and growing the GSEA vision in Africa in my role as Regional Ambassador.

Through my involvement, I have come to realize more the gifts that God has given me in my youth, and even more, how relevant such gifts are in bringing Him glory as I serve the nations.

What do you do now?

I am still an entrepreneur with interests in pharmaceutical distribution, marketing and business consultancy and business development especially in the mining sector.

To what would you attribute your success towards?

God my heavenly Father. I have had an incredibly busy youth….I mean my career started at 18 and has never been idle since then. I have had dreams, and some have come true. I have fallen and risen several times. I have prevailed where I should have failed. I have had honor given me when I thought of myself as too young and insignificant, yet was given me anyway. I surely have no credit in all this but boast only of the One who gives all good and perfect gifts. God, my Heavenly Father has granted me all such Grace, through other people, miraculous interventions, wisdom, and knowledge among many other ways.

Is there a single thing that you wish all young and aspiring business people knew that would make their success even more likely?

Risk! I realize that our dreams, hopes and aspirations demand of us to become alive to the existence of uncertainties. We need to be bold, take a leap of faith (confronting risk).  The one who exercises more faith in taking on risk, stands a better chance in magnitude of success than the one who only seeks comfort in what is scientific and carrying less risk.

How can other student entrepreneurs also participate in GSEA?

All they have to do is visit our website at: www.gsea.org and proceed to “nominate” themselves for the award. Once they give us their details, we will automatically send them an application form which will be key in considering the respective student(s) for their respective national competitions. Further information and reviews will be communicated as the process proceeds.