Short Fuses and Blown Gaskets - 4 Steps to Anger Management

Are you one of those people with a short fuse? Do you get angry quickly and easily and maybe at times wonder how you blew off that gasket? Maybe you know someone like that. I know some people who even brag about it. Some struggle with it. They don't know how to master that anger that's always boiling under a weak gasket.

There are many reasons why people may end up this way. Of all of them, there is one very common trigger. If you examine your life for this trigger you may have just found the solution to your problem. Finding the issue is one thing, dealing with it is another.

The number one reason people have anger issues is a blocked major goal. When your path to something very important to you is unfairly blocked, you can easily become an angry person. Whether the blockage came by a truly unfair mechanism is subjective. It's all a matter of perception; your perception.

Here's how to deal with it:

1. Identity your blocked goal.

This could range from reversible things like a business, or education to irreversible things like having your father around when he couldn't be because he passed on or left you and your mum. Identifying it is an important first step.

2. Identify who blocked it and forgive them.

Whether this was a corrupt official, a misinformed parent, a deceased parent or any other person, you need to forgive them. Sometimes telling the person works, but in many instances this may not be practical or possible. In that case you can write them a letter and explain how they blocked your goal and how you feel about it. You can then tell them in that letter that you forgive them and then burn the letter. Tell yourself that as the letter burns, you are letting go of the anger you felt towards them.

3. Think whether there is no other way to achieve that goal.

Sometimes our vision is obscured by negative emotions. Giving things a deep thought after letting go of negative emotions can give fresh insight. You may find a good alternative, sometimes not because of the nature of the goal. Nevertheless, it's easier to close that chapter at this stage and move on anger free than before.

4. Pray

Asking God to help you deal with potentially aggravating circumstances in the future helps you deal with things you couldn't in times past. Be honest with God in your prayers. Let him know how you feel and ask for help. You'll be amazed how things work out.

I wish you all the best.

Tinei